Sunday 22 November 2009



GOD,


GIVE ME

A

MIRACLE.



-----

What,
What have i done wrong?
What did i do to you, God,
That you would cause all these to happen
Right before me,
Right before my eyes?
Have i committed a sin
So grave that you would even
Reject my selfless and sincere prayers?
All i requested,
Is just for you to help them.
THEM, not me.
I'm worth nothing,
Not just in their eyes,
But in mine as well.
I have prayed to you,
Telling you,
I'd sacrifice ANYTHING
Just to see them both together.
I made a promise,
A vow,
And you know me,
I WILL keep to it.
My word is my Honour,
And my Honour is my LIFE.
Take it if you will.
It means nothing already.
Take it,
So long as you answer the prayers,
Mine and theirs.
I'm slipping away from my Faith.
Don't let that happen.
I've promised,
To CHANGE who i used to be,
To CHANGE for the better.
Is that not what you want?
PLEASE,
I AM BEGGING YOU,
WITH WHATEVER LITTLE FAITH I HAVE LEFT,
I THROW IT ALL OUT IN THIS PRAYER:
PERFORM THAT MIRACLE.
I have cried for it to happen,
Catch my tears, God,
Don't let me let go of you...


-----

I feel like it's all my fault.
Like i've caused all this shit.
I can't help it.
I just feel like dying.
I shouldn't have done that.
Now i just feel like dying,
Because you do, too...
I've said this many times,
But i'll just say it again:
I'm sincerely sorry,
from the deepest part
of whatever's left of my heart...


J.Jeremiah Lui praised Jesus at 10:27 pm

Friday 20 November 2009



Came back from Sentosa not too long ago. Settling some... stuff, right now.

-----

Didn't really do much, pretty much just walked around, took photos, swam a bit, that's it.
Met at 10am at the entrance of Vivo from MRT, but only Jonnie, Kevin and Jing Ting was there. After a while, Guang Yuan came. Both of us then sat down at the stairs for no reason, saw Megan and she joined the others. After some time the rest came, and we set off for Sentosa.
There they played BasketBall and VolleyBall, while i sat there, taking pictures, and walked around for a bit. After that they stopped playing BasketBall and Jevons, Nigel and i went to swim. THey continued to play VolleyBall, though, and it started to drizzle. After i took i shower i joined them back at the shelter and we went back to Vivo, after they changed, and Megan left early. Anyway, we all ate at Carl's Jr. and i officially went broke, save a few cents but that's worth almost nothing. Nigel and i left while the rest went to play arcade, and had a little heart-to-heart talk on the way to the MRT station.
That's pretty much about it, i'm still uploading photos into FB. Stupid active x control. :/

-----

Hang in there,
For those who have lost their hearts to love,
It's just a matter of time.
And time takes its toll,
You get hurt,
But that's only so that you will learn
To appreciate everything you have,
And to appreciate better what you want to have,
When you get it.
So cherish every moment,
Every damn moment,
Even the fights,
The quarrels.
Because if it ends,
You'll remember it all.
And although it may be a big fight,
You'll want it to happen again.
Hang in there.
Your waiting time is almost up.
Take care and God bless your hearts.


J.Jeremiah Lui praised Jesus at 5:09 pm

Saturday 14 November 2009



Back from OBS yesterday, but didn't post because i didn't really have had the time.

-----

Monday 9/11, Day 1.
Woke up at 6.30am, i think. Changed to Barracudas PT Kit, took up my bomb bag, strapped my shoe bag on it and left the house at around 6.45am. Buzz was open, so i bought a packet of M&M's and Blackcurrent juice. Walked to the bus interchange while eating, and took the bus 82 to Punggol Jetty. Aloysious came on the bus a number of stops later, and we continued on our really long journey to the OBS School. Was freezing on the way there, and it was drizzling, which made it way worse. Even if you turned the air-conditioner away it was still freezing. Anyway, we reached the school and saw Ashton, Kevin and Jonnie at the carpark, and we sat down under shelter in the school. Saint Gab's came next, and then other schools started coming in. Rytha came as well, but only because she lives really close and was most probably there to say byebye to Jevons and only Jevons. Lol. Mr Chong came as well, to check our attendance and particulars and wish us luck, and we were left to Chit-Chat for super long, bullying Jevons and Rytha in the process, and making fun of Yeow Boon. After that we were sorted out into our "watch" as they called it, a group of 16. I was put in watch 14 along with Jonnie, Nigel and Kevin, and we were introduced to our instructors, Abidin and Theresa. Watch 14 was also known as Magellan, named after his contribution to the world. Had some lame games, some medical clarifications, ordering of photographs, and got to know each other a little better. Then we went out to have our photos taken, and sat down together in a circle. We did the raccoon circle thing, all had to get in without stepping into the rope thing and without using our hands, mouth, elbows and shoulders. Managed it, although we had to squeeze in quite a bit. Had a short briefing, and then we finally set off for the ferry to Camp 2 in Pulau Ubin. Saw Rachel on the way there, though, but i didn't get to say hi. Anyway, we reached Camp 2, and unloaded out to the jettyside. We went up in terms of watches to our campsite, a heli-pad that didn't seem to be used according to what it's supposed to be used for. We took up appointments, Nigel and i being Day 1 ICs. We sorted out our food, and while we were collecting the food, i saw Nigel (Legion's Nigel Ng, not NCC's Nigel Ng), which was super cool since it's rare to see your other friends out of Mainland Singapore. We sorted out the food according to what we were having for other meals of the 5days and 4nights during the camp. After that we sorted out the watch-storeroom's stuff, like folding the tents and groundsheets and ponchos and flysheets and stuff. Afterwards we had lunch together in a circle, and after that learnt a few knots (all of which i already know, ahemahem), then we had the simulated abseiling, which was not really any kick at all. It was slanted at estimate 125 degrees clockwise from top, and we all cleared it, obviously. I think we had tent pitching and cooking after that. We went up to an open field, part of the OBS Camp 2 as well. The Marists carried the tent bags up there and set it down, and then after Theresa demonstrated how to do outdoor cooking and pitch an A-shape tent, with our help, and we were left to cook and pitch the tents on our own while she went down to have a meeting. It started raining, however, though slight but still heavy enough not to consider it a drizzle. We covered the girls with our blue tarp and some cotton twine, holding it up bye tying the corners to nearby tree braches and trunks. Some of the girls then helped out a bit with the pitching of tents with all the guys, but we told them to go eat first. The guys were pretty much wet when we were done, after getting about 30 minutes extension time, since we hit stop time but didn't have our dinner yet. We ate Sardines with Ikan Bilis and rice, which tasted a hell good for camp food. Washed up the mess tins and pots and stuff, and then put them back in the store. Had a quick shower, some bonding, a short debrief, then we took our ponchos and went up to sleep.

Tuesday 10/11, Day 2.
Woke up at 2.30am, and found that Kevin was awake as well. Noticed that the side was kind of sagging, and we went out to repitch the tent again, while Jonnie and Nigel were still sleeping and snoring, respectively. After going to the toilet a short moment, we went back and talked lots of crap. Reached 5.05am, and we woke everyone else up to unpitch the tents. They all went to wash up first, and it was all left to the Marists once again to unpitch the tents (though not pack them). They came back to pack the tents, and the Marists then went to wash up. Had morning PT which was uber-no-kick, and had breakfast and journal writing and goal setting. Afterwards we prepared for kayaking, changing into our long-sleeved shirt and track pants. Borrowed Nigel's AKE shirt, since mine was a really crap kind i refuse to use for kayaking. Took out the kayaks and life-vests and paddles, and had some practicing. While waiting for the previous group, we made something like a flag of paper of some sort, did our buoyancy test, and by then the previous group was done. Took up a Tri-yak with Adilah, did capsize drill, and did some funny stuff near the shore. Had lunch afterwards, and then we wrote down our packing list for our Land and Sea Expeditions on Days 3 and 4. Washed up, changed into our shirts and dry track pants, and did abseiling. Had a demo and safety harness check first, then we started. Jonnie went first, Nigel second, Kevin third and i fourth (Marists again). Slipped on the same spot TWICE, langkah at the same place TWICE, then slipped on a few other places, but managed to recover and abseil down to safety without any fear. Left side was painful, though, it was the side i hit on rocks and plants when i slipped. Came up, while Kevin stayed down to wait for a few girls. "True Blue Marist Gentleman", what bullshit. Lol. Anyway, while waiting for everyone else, we had an INTERESTING bonding session, especially between Jonnie and Jing Ting. Jonnie then had to shut up for 5 minutes while Jing Ting tried to "seduce" him into talking, but failed. After that, we did some packing up of our Exped stuff, and set of, walking about 1 klick to our next campsite, where we did outdoor cooking again, this time having Maggi noodles, Curry Chicken and Young corn. Some went to pitch tents and chope places and the rest stayed to help with the cooking. After that we sat down around the blue tarp, and Kevin took out a candle and stuck it to one of the used cans for our candlelight dinner. :) Finished, and most of them went to pitch tents. I stayed with some of the girls to wash and keep our trash (for dumping the next day) and our mess tins and utensils and stuff. After washing, the girls stayed to clean the tarp and the area, and i went with to pitch the tents after a request for help from Jonnie. We shifted our bags and stuff to the campsite, and after that we managed to sleep through after a powder bath and without any tent collapsing or almost collapsing that night.

Wednesday 11/11, Day 3.
Unpitched our tents and packed them up. Shifted all our stuff to where we had our cooking the night before, and sat around to have breakfast. Had a briefing about the Land Expedition, and we were asked to move to a few checkpoints. Nothing much to say about this day, only that we walked an estimate 8 klicks with full fieldpacks and tent packs, and stopped to play some games at each checkpoint. Managed to clear in time, with some extensions in time, enough to get back to our original campsite, where we put our bags down and had a game. We all had to be "connected" in a way, and shift a bag on a stretcher across 2 log obstacles, and squeeze everything in together. We managed to complete it considerably fast, and we had the product/process/people sorting out thing. After that we trekked all the way to Camp 1, where we laid down our tents at the campsite by the shore, and left our bags somewhere in the Camp. Camp 1 had a lot more facilites than Camp 2, though. Not a complaint. We actually like it better at Camp 2. Anyway, we had some stretching and we ate dinner at Camp 1's cookhouse, and washed up the plates and ourselves with water, not powder anymore. Had a briefing on the Sea Expedition for Day 4, and we appointed Kevin and Jing Ting to represent Magellan as Sea Exped ICs. We were kayaking with Livingstone as well. Continued pitching our tents with rocks and bricks, since the floor was too hard to use peg and hammer to pitch the tents up. At least it managed to hold up. Had an early nap, since we were waking up really early the next morning.

Thursday 12/11, Day 4.
Sea Exped day. Woke up at 3.30am and washed ourselves up, unpitching the tents as well. Completely packed all our stuff up, and loaded up our fieldpacks onto the safety boat. Both Magellan's and Livingstone's fieldpacks and tarps. Suited up with life-vests, and the ICs sorted us up into our kayaks. I was sorted in with Jonnie and Joy, which i learned to be really great kayakers. Anyway, loaded up our Tri-yak with our stuff, and set off at estimate 6am. Maybe earlier. Kept in pace with Sea Exped Navi, with Nigel's kayak as well. Navi's kayak was moving out of control, it seemed, but we managed to reach the river too early, i think 8.20am when we were supposed to reach there at 11am. Kayaked into the river, some tight squeezing, and we reached the 10-meter mud patch walk very early as well. Fell down on the slippery mud while moving Abidin's Bandit singles kayak across. Crossed over to the other side of the river, where many people pee-ed, and i didn't know it until i washed my bootes and pants when people suddenly told me. Oh well. I can always wash it clean later on at sea or something. Which i didn't. :p Whoops. Anyway, we kayaked through mangroves and stopped at the road, where we carried our kayaks up onto the side, had a long break, and had a brief washing of our kayaks with our water from our bottles. I hardly drank, anyway, so i volunteered to use my bottle to did a considerably nice clean on the top and sides of the kayak, lightening our load by a full 2-litre bottle's worth of weight. After that, we continued setting off throught the mangroves once more, had blockages on both sides, but one was a fallen tree and the other was an overhanging low brach. We picked the branch side and Gladwin helped us through, by getting out of his kayak and holding it up for all of us till we all could get through. Made it out into open sea, when it started to drizzle. Didn't affect us much at all. Was about i think 2 klicks back to Camp 2, when the rain started becoming heavier, and you could see everybody choinging forward. True kayaking style, which they most probably copied from my kayak and Nigel's kayak. Moving forward, dipping the blade in, pulling back the side with the blade in and pushing out the other (they most probably didn't know about the pushing part) and using the feet to kick against the foothold to push it further and faster (which i bet they didn't do as well). Reached the jetty at 12noon, 3 hours early, and the rain stopped. After that, we all beached up our kayaks, washed up our stuff and then rested at the shed. Had some really crazy time, especially keeping the kayaks when everybody there, particularly Jing Ting, Ali and ShingYang were laughing like mad, and we took 10 minutes just to put 1 kayak back with them there. Did faster for the other few. Had some experience sharing in a circle till about 1.15pm, and since we were so fast, we were given till 3pm to have the time for ourselves. Bathed, unpacked and repacked, ate our lunch and then had some leadership exercises thing. Not sure how to elaborate but they were activities that were supposedly used to train you up on how to lead and stuff. One inside joke was about "The HEART...", and only Magellan and Livingstone people knew about it. Haha. We moved our tents to the next campsite, on the slope near beach around the jetty area, and started cooking and pitching tents. Moved to the open area next to the jetty, and shared the dishes we cooked to everyone. While sharing, a wild boar came and watched us from the staircase to block 6 about 50-meters away, and we were told to ignore it. It went back into the bushes, anyway. After eating, some of the guys went back to the campsite to sit on the rocks or outside the tents to look at Mainland Singapore, to emo, while the rest cleaned the stuff up. Food was excellent, by the way, especially the instructors' "sand food", which was boiled apples and raisins in ovaltine/milo powder, which looked like sand. Anyway, we all gathered together for one of the last times for a briefing for the last day, and then we all went to slack at the campsite. We also followed the security guard to see the tracks that the wild boar left behind, and trust me they were damn scary. 11pm was lights-out, but most of us were out there together, singing songs and whatnot, until someone was like shouting-whispering "instructor come already!" and you could see everyone rushing back to their tents. Instructor shouted for some bit until someone finally said "Instructor clear! You can come out now!", but in the end we decided not to go and slept instead.

Friday 13/11, Day 5.
Last day we didn't really do anything, just unpitched our tents, kept our stuff, washed everything, took lots of photos at the kayaking shed and then sorted ourselves out according to our schools. Said farewell to whoever went before us, and we took the jetty back. Gathered at the same place we gathered on the first day, and it started to rain again. Lol. Queued up at the souvenir shop, school by school, and bought our stuff. We were then free to go. Kevin, Jonnie and i waited for the PL girls since we were going to macs later on. Took the bus 82 there, with Nigel, Darren and Nobie boarding the bus at the next stop. Anyway, we had macs, and ShingYang, Jun Jie, Sean, and Joel Teng joined us afterwards. Jia Min left early, and Kevin and Jonnie went back home on their own. I took the train back myself from kovan back to serangoon and did lots of crap. Haha. Was dead tired, anyway, so i left early.

-----

Anyway, OBS will be missed, and so will Magellan of 9/11-13/11. Oh well, we're watching a movie together soon, so yeah. At least we'll be able to get back together soon. I better go now, i'm going for mass later on so that i'll be joining badminton tomorrow. :) Hope to see you guys soon.
Take Care and God Bless.

Magellan, oi! :D


J.Jeremiah Lui praised Jesus at 2:05 pm

Thursday 5 November 2009



All My Bullshit Nonsense Will Stop.

Now.



-----

I don't even know what the hell i'm doing, why i'm doing.
So to Rytha:
I'm so sorry.
For everything.
You have had enough problems.
I don't want to be another burden.
So once again,
I'm really very sorry.

Take Care and God Bless.


J.Jeremiah Lui praised Jesus at 2:39 pm

Monday 2 November 2009



Sorry for the late posting. Hadn't had the time.

-----

Sheng Mu Jing Li (Marian Procession). Took the bloody long train ride to Boon Lay from Serangoon._. But hey, it was alright. I got to see (almost) everyone again after so long. Haven't seen them in such a long time. Missed legion much. ;) It's good to be back. Anyway, the procession was just normal, i guess. Mass, then rosary while walking around the church. It started to drizzle, and many of them took out umbrellas. Walked by Damien, without any umbrella. Nothing much to post, really. Abby looked really nice. Haha. Took shuttle bus back home with Cui Ling, but dropped off at Potong Pasir MRT station and took the MRT back home.
Actually, i just wanted to say that i really missed legion a lot, and it really is good to be back, especially when people still remember you. It would suck if they have forgotten about you after 6 months worth of NDP. Hope i'll get to see you guys at JXY. :) Keep praying, yo.

-----

Was supposed to wake up at 5.30am and take the bus to attend 6.15am All Souls' Day mass. I did wake up, but i thought i could drag a bit to 5.45am before i went to change. Little did i know, i fell asleep again. Woke up at about 9.15am or so. Anyway, just to keep to my word, i travelled by bus to church not too long ago, and had to walk the whole unsheltered way there. It was raining considerably heavily, and my shirt and pants got wet. But my little origami angel for my great-grandmother was practically intact, which was a really good thing. When i went out of the Columbarium it stopped raining, and i just had this strange feeling that God was just testing me if i'd uphold what i said i'd do. I did, and i'm proud of myself. ;) Visiting my grandfather later on, after piano. Love you, great-grandmother and grandfather. :) Take care. Hope to see you guys in heaven or in my dreams.

-----

I'm a little hurt,
But i just wanted to say:
It's time i face the truth,
I will never be with you,
And i guess
i'll never get to call you mine...

Those small hands,
How small,
How cute,
If only i could just hold them.

There are many things
I wished i didn't do,
And i can take my flaws,
But the fact that they came
All from you
Have made me think differently.
There are many things that
I'd like to say to you,
But i don't know how to.

If you need any help at all,
You know where to find me.
I'll always be here,
Wishing, waiting, praying,
As i always have.
And even though i like you,
I would still try
To save your relationship,
Because i believe
That it is the right thing to do.

This is a heck load of crap,
I know :p
But hey,
You know me.
This is who i am.

-----







You know how suck it is,
to be the last pick by the girl
you would die for,
and when everyone else above you on her list
doesn't really give a heck
about her at all?

I guess not...



J.Jeremiah Lui praised Jesus at 3:07 pm

About Me

J.Jeremiah Lui
29'11'94
Maris Stella High School
4H
NCC(sea)
Pureblood Marist
Barracuda
Legion of Mary
Kayaker
Catholic
NDP'09-er

LIKES
GOD.
Navy blue.
Army stuff.
Divine Mercy.
Friends who are there to help.
Camps.
PRAYING for OTHER people.

HATES
People who are too persistent.
People who don't listen.
People who are hypocrites.
People who don't leave me alone.
People who think they're always right.
People who hardly ever say sorry.
People who are so pathetically stubborn.
People who LOST THEIR FAITH.
Myself.

MISSES
NCC.
Legion of Mary.
NDP.
OBS.
My departed family members;
- My great-grandmother.
- My grandfather.
My LIFE.

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